tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10407988.post114043579338930081..comments2023-08-05T21:48:58.831-04:00Comments on Philochristos: Competing dating philosophiesSam Harperhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15884738370893218595noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10407988.post-1140911183332344712006-02-25T19:46:00.000-04:002006-02-25T19:46:00.000-04:00I agree with that Paul. But you know what I've no...I agree with that Paul. But you know what I've noticed? I've noticed that NOT having sex also complicates things. The closer you get to somebody, the more you want to have sex, so you purposely start keeping your distance from them. You have to be careful snuggling, kissing, or being affectionate at all.<BR/><BR/>I just wish sex wasn't a factor, but I don't see how it's possible for the whole subject of sex not to mess with your thinking whether you're having it or not.Sam Harperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15884738370893218595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10407988.post-1140880789988655712006-02-25T11:19:00.000-04:002006-02-25T11:19:00.000-04:00I think that throwing sex into the mix is what com...I think that throwing sex into the mix is what complicates it for so many people. Even if you realize that the other person is not a candidate for marriage, you can always get sex out of the deal. And a guarantee of sex is something that'll keep you coming back, sometimes in spite of the hassle of enduring an imperfect relationship. For this reason, the relationship may not break up until there is another sexual partner lined up to switch over to. And when the relationship does break up, it is much more emotionally painful because sex was involved.Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11853366401521123552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10407988.post-1140665242887969292006-02-22T23:27:00.000-04:002006-02-22T23:27:00.000-04:00I appreciate the support, Angie. :-)I appreciate the support, Angie. :-)Sam Harperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15884738370893218595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10407988.post-1140597885521746232006-02-22T04:44:00.000-04:002006-02-22T04:44:00.000-04:00Dagoods, it is because for a lot of people those t...Dagoods, it is because for a lot of people those things do <I>not</I> develope on their own that books like this are written.<BR/><BR/>I agree that you should be up front about your intentions, but I don't think that really solves the problem. People can't always control their emotions. You can't just <I>decide</I> whether you're going to get attached to somebody or not. So attachment can happen regardless of what your intentions are. Whenever you date somebody, you put both yourself and the other person in a vulnerable position.Sam Harperhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15884738370893218595noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10407988.post-1140546633466323822006-02-21T14:30:00.000-04:002006-02-21T14:30:00.000-04:00ephphatha, the way to avoid using people is to be ...ephphatha, the way to avoid using people is to be honest with them. Be up front. Explain that you are dating to have fun, meet people, and explore the possibility of having another date. Whether you are on your first date, or your fifteenth, that is all you can do.<BR/><BR/>We should stop worrying about marriage, engagement, long-term relationships. Those things seem to develop quite well on their own without worrying about them on the forefront.DagoodShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04557451438888314932noreply@blogger.com